The whisperings of a Doctor of Philosophy student's phenomenography

Abstract

[Abstract]: “Yes, I’m going to enrol in a PhD”. There are those who relish in the proclamation, and others who shiver at its mere whisper. From the position of one who shivers at the whisper, this paper traces my doctoral journey from the budding concept, through the public announcement and resting (to take a breath!) at the position of attaining full candidature. In this article, I capture and express what I have used to sustain me thus far against the conceptual challenges I have experienced along the way. This journey through my inner terrain depicts a kaleidoscope of decisions, and emotions that have produced a diversity of ideas, some of which have flourished and died. Yet it is those ideas, seeded from past experience, which have sustained and been partly kind. These have a strong emotional component, and it appears that they have fuelled my progress, yet also fuelled degrees of doubt, a paradox that facilitates and restricts. Phenomenography is used to make sense of this experience. This is my struggle for conceptual ground and workspace. This paper describes the resources I bring to bear in reflecting and reflexing around my choice of topic, my sense of identity as an academic, my PhD progress and my collaborative alliances, as I make guesses about ‘what might be’ and stand to take another step forward.